It has been a year since we first brought J. into the US. Quite the year. I think we’re all feeling a bit exhausted, but it’s also easy to see that we’ve come a long way. Sometimes it even seems like J. is happy to be with us.
We haven’t had any pictures in awhile, so here’s a few from recent months.
From the Spring
From our trip to pick B & K up from their grandparents:
From our 4th of July Camping Trip
As you can see, we’ve been managing to have some fun as a family. There are still plenty of tense, angry moments in our home, but we’ve had some good times, too.
For the past two-and-a-half weeks, B & K have been visiting family while J and we parents have been home dealing with the unusually warm Denver June. On the home front we’ve had some not fun business (court; trips to the dentist) and some more fun stuff (skating at Skate City; a trip to Garden of the Gods and to check out Aunt Abby’s quilts in her quilt guild’s show in Monument), but mostly J has been lonely. He looked almost as glad to see K yesterday as I was, (and he seemed even a little glad to see B). I don’t know that he’d say the driving was worth it, but maybe he would.
We’re back to driving tomorrow, but yesterday the kids had a blast in the hotel pool, and today we’re going to rent paddle-boats or canoes and get out on a lake with Grandma & Grandpa. Should be fun, we think. It sounds like B & K had a very good time visiting grandparents and cousins. The break from the stress at our house seems to have also been good for them. But they were very, very glad to see us, and I think they’ll be glad to get home.
So road trip this week for the Hoffs. And then K’s birthday. Life is good.
J, B & K all did exceptionally well in their classes this term. Now they’re back home, adjusting to the largely unstructured time of break. For the most part we’ve done OK, but the house is a bit of a mess, and sometimes we get on each other’s nerves. It helps that it’s warm enough now that the kids can sleep out in their tents if they want to.
J is busy working on his garden and doing a bit of cooking. He’s doing some better with his English, but we should probably try to get him into a class or something.
B has decided he can live with our new chore system (which is good, since he didn’t really have a choice about that.) He’s doing something I don’t entirely understand with his Minecraft server, and he and his sister are working together to write and illustrate a digital choose your own adventure book. It seems to be a bit slow getting started, but they’re working on it diligently. He and K. are looking forward to hanging out with grandparents for a few weeks starting this coming Wednesday.
K is dancing as a princess doll in her ballet studio’s production of Coppelia this weekend, so we’ve been super busy with rehearsals and costumes and refreshment table cookies and all that. The late nights are exhausting, but K really enjoys the performing and all that comes with it (especially the makeup, which I’m finally figuring out.)
I’ll miss my younger two while they’re gone, but I hope they get a good chance to rest and have adults pay lots of attention to them. I hope also that our time with J is good here at home, and that the trip out to pick the younger two up isn’t too difficult for anyone.
We seem to be more settled into a routine. Big, violent explosions are less frequent (we had one the day before Easter, but that was the first in a while, and it hasn’t been repeated.) It’s nice to get back into gardening season. J. has jumped the gun a bit with some beans and cucumbers, but it’s warm enough that they still might not fall prey to frost.
Our boys have found something they like to do together. It’s playing computer games, but the time together seems to be helping them improve their relationship.
Other news: J. is now going to a full day of school, and seems to be doing OK with it. He’s had a bit of trouble with some other kids, but it’s middle school, so that’s kind of par for the course, I’m afraid.
B. has begun a family newsletter. I think his fourth or fifth one comes out tomorrow. He’s also involved in a tech club in school, which seems to be helping him be a bit more comfortable away from home.
K. is in the midst of rehearsals for Copelia, the ballet her studio is performing June 3 and 4. At school she’s glad to be done with Parcc testing.
As the school year winds down, we’re trying to figure out what exactly we want to do for the summer. B. & K. will be visiting grandparents for a bit, but we don’t have any other very firm plans.
is almost over. I am now ready for a break of my own. I’m a bit concerned about how we’ll handle the summer.
We had some good times this week, though. We got to see some extended family, spent some time horseback riding (J. & K. both want to know when we’re going again); and did a bit of rock scrambling near Estes Park. The kids saw a museum or two. The younger two are now thoroughly ready to return to school. J. is less excited about that, but I think he’ll like returning to a more regular routine, even if he’s not thrilled with what that routine is.
We’ve made it through the week without any major meltdowns–unless you count me falling apart on my husband Thursday morning. But I’ve managed to pull myself mostly back together, and we’re looking forward to a new week.
Tia came back to our house last Friday. Grandma Pookie and Papa Buzz, brought her on their way into town for Spring Break (Sorry to take them so far out of reach when you’ve got a household of sick kids, Pete & Sarah). The grandparents stayed for a bit before going down to my sister’s, but the dog is here to stay. She seems to remember us, and is happy to be around her people again. J and K are very glad she’s back. They’ve been looking forward to her return for weeks, and they are lavishing lots of attention on her. Even B seems glad she’s around and has played a couple of games with her.
This is possible because J has managed to control his temper well enough for the past month that we believe it’s safe for the dog to return, so that’s all to the good. Sometimes it still feels like we’re living on an active volcano at our house, but the eruptions are becoming less frequent and less violent.
We’ve got some fun Spring Break plans (time with grandparents and cousins, kites, horses, Casa Bonita), so we’re hoping this week goes fairly smoothly.
We’ve had another fairly uneventful week. (Yay!) Last weekend was a bit rough because I took a much needed break away from the house. (Read a couple of novels, took a bubble bath, got some work done) The kids had some trouble with my being gone, and they’ve been clingy all week, but we had no major crises.
In other news, K. has made it into her school talent show (5 on Thursday, I believe); B. is creating a couple of computer programs, one of which simulates a ball rolling over hills, and J. has put together a rope swing on the tree in the backyard. I’m not sure how well the tree will hold up, so we might need to build more of a playground kind of thing, but for now, he and K. are enjoying it quite a bit.
Things have calmed down here a bit. There’s still a fair amount of tension–anger simmering under the surface, but we’ve headed off any major explosions.
I think part of the problem is that J. feels like the rules are always changing and he can’t figure out what’s expected of him. He’s not precisely wrong. When new stuff comes up, we tend to adapt the house rules to deal with the previously unanticipated crisis. It just never occurred to us that, say, we’d need to specify that it’s not OK to make death threats against other people. We have, however, been saying all along that we need to speak respectfully to other people. Now we just have to help J. see that the latter precludes the former (as well as cursing, yelling, calling people animals . . .)
This week, B. and K. have both gotten out a couple of times to be with friends. (I’ve been told I’m not allowed to call them play dates anymore. We’re too big for that now, apparently. Not too big for having “stuffties” or using baby talk more ridiculous than they ever used as actual babies, but too big for play dates.)
K. and one of her friends tried out for the school talent show. Now they’re having to wait to see if they made it. K. says they have to wait until next Friday. I’m not sure what will take so long for the music teacher to decide who’s in and who’s out, but I know the wait is making K. very anxious.
K., J. and Craig are going tubing with the church today. I hope they have a good time. B. and I will probably have a good time on our own as well.
It has been another rough week, though that probably has more to do with my cold than with the children.
We did have an unusual schedule–both the elementary school and the middle school had parent-teacher conferences in the evenings this week. It turns out that all three of our children are brilliant, being respectful, and working hard in school.
This may not come as naturally for J. as for the other two–at any rate the unusual schedule combined with less than normal time with me and extra time on best behavior led to some issues late in the week. We seem to be back on a more even keel at the moment.
B. and K. have started work on a computer game together–B. programming and K. providing the artwork. Perhaps we’ll be able to put a link in here some day soon.
B. has been stressing all week about choosing electives for next year when he moves up to the middle school. He complains that there are only a couple of electives he wants to take, but when we started going through it together, we may have found a few online options he likes–and a couple that are necessary (Chinese).
K. is very interested in the process–the more so since a proposal before the school board right now might have her at the middle school in the fall as well. (Though even if that does become the case, it’s unclear whether the sixth graders would have the same choices that seventh and eight graders do.)
J. probably needs to pick his electives, too, but we’ll need a translator’s help for that, so we’ll probably be a touch late with it. But in other middle school news, he got a couple of awards at the first-semester awards ceremony this week. We’re quite proud of him.
Although yesterday and the day of the awards ceremony went pretty well, we’ve had several days this week when J. was very worked up and violent. We’re not sure what all is upsetting him, but it could partly be the strain of living out his first Spring Festival holiday season in a country where most people don’t even know the holiday is happening (let alone celebrate it).